Excessive anger or harshness
which reaches dangerous levels is called tahawwur (boldness,
foolhardiness). A person with tahawwur demonstrates attributes of harshness,
wrath and roughness. Opposite of tahawwur is softness (hilm). A soft natured person will not become angry or excited when he
encounters a situation which causes anger (ghadab). A cowardly person only harms himself. Conversely, an angry
person harms himself as well as others. Wrath may even lead one into disbelief.
Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu
’alaihi wa sal-lam’ states in a hadîth-i-sherîf: “Anger (Ghadab) blemishes one’s belief.” Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ was never seen to get angry for
worldly affairs. He would only get angry for the sake of Allâhu ta’âlâ. A person in a state of anger
may say or do something that causes disbelief. An angry person should think
ahead that his opponent may react to his anger and do something in response.
Anger causes a person’s heart to become unstable and this instability reflects
on his face as an ugly and formidable appearance.
Overcoming or controlling anger
is called “kâzm”. Successful “kâzm” is a very
good and beneficial act and causes one to earn many rewards (thawâbs). Whoever overcomes wrath or anger will be rewarded with Paradise. Allâhu ta’âlâ loves a person very much if he
controls his anger for the sake of Allâhu ta’âlâ and forgives his opponent and does not retaliate. The following hadîth-i-sherîfs inform us of this type
of person, “If one overcomes his anger for the sake of Allâhu ta’âlâ, Allâhu ta’âlâ will also remove His
punishment (’azâb) from him,” and “Allâhu ta’âlâ will love, protect and
have mercy on a Muslim who possesses three qualities: one who gives thanks for
given blessings; one who forgives an oppressor; one who overcomes his anger
‘ghadab’.” Giving thanks for a given
blessing is to use the blessing according to the guidelines set by Islam. In
the following hadîth-i-sherîfs Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ stated: “If a person who
becomes very angry behaves softly although he has the power to do anything he
wishes to, Allâhu ta’âlâ will fill his heart with a feeling of security
and with îmân;” and “Anyone who hides or
overcomes his anger will be treated equally by Allâhu ta’âlâ, i.e., Allâhu ta’âlâ will hide his shameful
deeds and defects.” Imâm al-Ghazâlî ‘rahimahullâhu
ta’âlâ’ said, “Having softness ‘hilm’ is more precious than overcoming anger
‘ghadab’.” A hadîth-i-sherîf points out the value of
softness (hilm), “Oh my Allah! Give me knowledge ‘’ilm’, decorate me with
softness ‘hilm’, bless me with piety ‘taqwâ’, and beautify me with good health
‘âfiyat’.” Someone cursed at Abdullah ibni
Abbâs ‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ ’anhumâ’ and he replied by asking that person if he could be of
any help and solve any of his troubles or needs. That person became ashamed and
put his head down and apologized. Another person cursed at Zaynal Âbidîn Alî
‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ ’anhumâ’
who was the son of Hadrat Huseyn ‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ ’anh’. He took his garment off and gave it to him as a present.
Îsâ (Jesus) ‘alaihis-salâm’ was passing by some Jews. They started to call him
all kinds of dirty names. He talked back to them softly. When he was asked why
he was so kind to them despite all the invectives they had been hurling at him,
he replied, “One will give others whatever one possesses.” The general rule is
that a person who does not bother anyone will feel comfortable and be merry and
everyone will praise him.
A hadîth-i-sherîf reads: “Anger (ghadab) occurs due to the evil suggestions (waswasa) of the
devil. The devil was created from fire. Fire is extinguished with water. Make
ablution (wudu) for overcoming anger!” For this
reason, an angry person should read “A’űdhu basmala” and two “Qul a’űdhu” [the
last two chapters of the Qur’ân which start with the word “Qul a’űdhu”.] An
angry person’s intellect (’aql) will stop functioning
and he will go beyond the limits set by Islam. An angry person should sit down
if he is standing up. A hadîth-i-sherîf reads: “Whoever is overtaken by anger (ghadab) should sit down if he is
standing up. If anger continues, he should lie down on one of his sides!” It is easy for a standing person to react for quick revenge.
Sitting down lessens his anger. Lying down lessens his anger further. Anger is
the result of conceit (kibr). Lying down decreases conceit.
It is commanded in a hadîth-i-sherîf that an angry person should recite (or read) the following
prayer, “Allâhummaghfir
li-zanbi wa azhib gayza qalbi wa ajirni minashshaytân.” The meaning of this prayer (duâ) is as
follows: “Oh my Allah! Forgive my sin. Save me from the anger in my heart
and the evil suggestions of the devil.” If a person
cannot treat the person who caused the anger (ghadab) softly, he should part from him and should not see him any
longer.
One should not get angry with
others for worldly or religious affairs. The hadîth-i-sherîf titled, “Lâ taghdab” forbids anger. When a
person gets angry all of his nerves become unstable and some parts of his body
lose their physical fitness. Doctors cannot find a cure for that illness. The
only cure for that illness is the above mentioned hadîth-i-sherîf “Lâ taghdab”. An angry person hurts people around him with his words and
behavior. They also catch nervous illnesses. No peace and harmony will be found
in their home. It may even result in separation or murder. If there is no one
who gets angry in a home, there is happiness, comfort, peace and cheerfulness
there. If there is a person who gets angry, there will not be any comfort,
peace or cheerfulness there. There could always be some sort of disagreement or
even animosity between the husband and wife or between the son and his mother.
It must be understood from these that complying with the rules of Islamic
Sharî’at will bring happiness, comfort, and cheerfulness. Even disbelievers who
follow the rules of the Sharî’at will attain happiness in this world.
Ignorant and stupid people refer
to anger (ghadab) and wrath (tahawwur) as bravery (shajâ’at), honor,
manliness, and patriotism. They embellish and beautify the vice anger (ghadab) with these euphemistic words. They tell others that having anger
is a good thing and try to support this view with stories relating how great
personalities got angry. Their attitude reflects their ignorance and prove that
their brains do not function properly. As a matter of fact, a sick person gets
mad faster than a healthy person, women get angry more quickly than men, and
ageing people are more prone to anger than youngsters. People who are below
thirty years of age are called young, people who are between thirty and fifty
are called mature people and those over fifty are called old people (shaikh)
and those who are above seventy years of age are called very old men
(pîr-i-fânî).
A subliminal prime mover of wrath dormant in
a person’s nature would be a fervid and ireful sermon preached out of the
preacher’s personal mentality rather than being based on Islam’s instructions
and religious books. Its sole cure is mild, soft and sweet language. One day
Hadrat Hasan and Huseyn ‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ
’anhumâ’ (two blessed grandsons of the Messenger of Allah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi
wa sal-lam’) were traveling in the desert, when they saw an old man making an
ablution (wudű). The old man was not observing all the
necessary conditions of the ablution. They were ashamed to tell the old man
that his ablution would not be acceptable. They approached him and told him
that they were disputing with each other as to who was making a better ablution
and asked the old man to be the judge. Each one made ablution by observing all
necessary conditions. The old man watched their actions closely and at the end
told them, “Oh my sons! I have just learned how to make an ablution from you.” Prophet Abraham (Ibrâhîm ‘alaihis-salâm’) gave a
banquet to two hundred fire worshippers (majűsî). They in turn asked
Ibrâhîm ‘alaihis-salâm’ what they could do for him. Ibrâhîm ‘alaihis-salâm’
asked them to make prostration (sajda) to his Lord (Allahu
ta’âlâ). They discussed his desire among themselves and said that he was well
known for his generosity therefore they decided not to offend him. They said
that making a prostration for his Lord would not change anything and they said,
after the prostration, they would still go and worship their own gods. While
they were
making
the prostration (sajda), Ibrâhîm ‘alaihis-salâm’ appealed to Allâhu ta’âlâ, saying, “Oh my Lord! I can only do
this much. It is in Thine power to bestow happiness on them and to show them
the right path. Please, honor them by making them Muslims!” His prayer was
accepted and all of them became Muslims. It is necessary to counsel a person
who is getting ready to commit a forbidden act when he is alone. When a person
is observed committing a forbidden act, he will be warned immediately in a soft
manner. Advising everybody in private beforehand will be more effective.
Another cause of a person’s anger would be
being misunderstood. A recommended way of avoiding misunderstanding is concise,
clear-cut, and unambiguous language. Ambiguous language will annoy the
listener. Three conditions should be observed while communicating the right
word (amr
al-ma’rűf). The first condition is a pure intention to
communicate a commandment or prohibition of Allâhu
ta’âlâ. Second, full mastery of the subject intended to be preached,
including the sources and documents of the information presented. And third,
patience with the consequent trouble. Soft language is a prerequisite, and
harshness preclusive. Harsh, quarrelsome language will stir instigation
(fitna). One night, during the caliphate of Hadrat ’Umar, he and Abdullah ibn
Mes’űd ‘radiy-Allâhu ’anhum’ were patrolling the streets of Medîna, when, from
one of the doors of nearby houses, came the voice of a woman singing. Peeping
through the keyhole, the Khalîfa saw an old man seated with a bottle of wine
before him and a young songstress in the middle of the room. When he rushed
into the room through the window, the old man said: “O, you, Amîr al-Mu’minîn
(Leader of Believers)! Would you please listen to me for a second for the sake
of Allâhu ta’âlâ?” Hadrat Umar ‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ ’anh’ said, “Okay. Go ahead and speak!”
The old man said, “Whereas I have committed one wrongdoing, you have violated
three different laws of Allâhu ta’âlâ.” When
Hadrat ’Umar ‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ ’anh’ inquired
what the three different violations were, the old man said, ‘Allâhu ta’âlâ prohibits peeping others’ houses. You
have watched inside my house through the keyhole. Allâhu
ta’âlâ prohibits entering others’ houses without their permission. You
have entered without permission. Finally, Allâhu ta’âlâ
commands us to enter houses through the front door and to
greet
the residents. You have entered through the window and without greeting at all.
Hadrat ’Umar ‘radiy-Allâhu ta’âlâ ’anh’ replied
with justice and fairness and said, “What you have said are all correct!” Then,
apologizing, he left, in tears.
We should have a good opinion
about people who give us advice, as well as about all Muslims. We should
interpret their words and advice with optimism. Believing in the goodness and
piousness of a Muslim is an act which brings rewards. Mistrust based on a
pessimistic predisposition that a certain Muslim should not be believed is in
fact a reflection of loose morals on the part of the owner of the mistrust. We
should try to understand what is said and if we are not able to understand it
then we should inquire about it. We should not forthwith have a bad opinion
about a person who tells us something. Among the evil suggestions brought into
the heart by the devil, having a bad opinion (sű-i zan) about others is the one wherein the devil is most successful.
Sű-i-zan is forbidden (harâm). In case a certain utterance
sounds too clearly malignant to interpret with optimism, a possible mistake or
slip of the tongue or lapse of memory (on the part of the person who has made
the utterance) should be taken into consideration.
When a poor person requests
something from a rich person and his request is denied, that may cause anger (ghadab) in both of them.
Asking a question or saying something to a
person who is busy or thinking or anxious or distressed may cause him to become
angry. A crying baby or noise of children or animals may also cause anger in
some people. Anger of this nature is extremely unpleasant. An even worse type of
anger, an oft-seen one, too, is shown towards movements of lifeless beings.
Examples of this emotional excess would be people who have been seen to get mad
when something they want to cut with an axe slides from the spot they have
placed it or does not break at one stroke; so much so that they hurl expletives
at it and sometimes even destroy it frantically, e.g. by burning it. And there
do exist people who get mad at themselves, swear at themselves, and flagellate
themselves. It is a meritorious act, a sort of religious ghayrat, to be angry
with yourself on account of your poor acts of worship; it generates thawâb.
Having anger toward the leaders of the government or toward Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ or toward Allâhu ta’âlâ because of
their
commandments and prohibitions, is the worst kind of anger. This type of anger
causes disbelief. The hadîth-i-sherîf, “Anger (ghadab)
blemishes one’s belief” shows that having anger toward Rasűlullah or Allâhu ta’âlâ
causes disbelief.
Getting angry upon seeing
someone committing a prohibited action is a very good deed and shows one’s
religious ghayrat. But, one should not step out
of the boundaries of Islam or wisdom (’aql) when one
gets angry. Calling that person by dirty names, e.g., kâfir, munâfiq and the
like, is prohibited (harâm). That kind of name calling necessitates punishment
of that name-caller. It is not against Islam’s rules for a person who sees a
sinner to remonstrate with him by using words like ‘ignorant’ and ‘idiot’; yet
it is better to admonish the sinner with mild and sweet words, for Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’
states in hadîth-i-sherîf: “Allâhu ta’âlâ is always for soft-spokenness.” It is incumbent upon state authorities or police force to
forcefully stop a person who commits prohibited actions. But beating him more
than necessary or torturing would be oppression (zulm), which is a sinful act.
In the absence of law officers or members of the government, a person powerful
enough may stop the man. However, any legal action such as death sentence and
house-demolition is only within the authority of the state and a judge of the
state. A punishment heavier than deserved is zulm (injustice, cruelty). By the
same token, it is harâm for state officials charged with amr-i-ma’rűf and
nahy-i-munkar to inflict torture.
The opposite of anger (ghadab)
is softness (hilm). Softness is better than being able to
overcome one’s anger. Softness means not to get angry at all. It is a sign of
being very wise. Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi
wa sal-lam’ states in the following hadîth-i-sherîfs:
“Allâhu ta’âlâ loves those who act in
softness in response to an incident which causes anger ‘ghadab’,”
and “Allâhu ta’âlâ loves people who
possess softness ‘hilm’, shame ‘hayâ’ and ‘iffat’. He dislikes those who speak
dirty language ‘fuhsh’ and those beggars who solicit in a molesting manner.”
“Iffat” means not to have an eye on others’ wealth. “Fuhsh” means dirty and
ugly things. Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa
sal-lam’ would repeat the following prayer often, “Oh my Lord! Bestow me,
knowledge (’ilm), softness (hilm), piety (taqwâ), and ‘âfiyat’.”
“Ilm al-nâfi’” embodies three branches of knowledge: Kalâm, Fiqh,
and
Akhlâq. “Âfiyat” means, in this prayer, to have the following five things: a
faith and belief free of bid’ats; deeds and acts of worship free of disasters;
a nafs free of (all sorts of) shahwa; a heart free of hawâ and waswasa; and a
body free of illnesses. When they inquired from Rasűlullah
‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ which one single prayer was the best
prayer, he replied,
“Ask ‘âfiyat’ from Allâhu ta’âlâ. After îmân, there is
no greater blessing than ‘âfiyat.” [One should
make much repentance, i.e. say (a certain prayer termed) ‘istighfâr’[1] in order to attain “âfiyat”.] Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ states in a hadîth-i-sherîf: “Be a person who has
knowledge ‘’ilm’ and ‘sakîna!’ Speak softly while learning or teaching! Never
boast about your knowledge!” “Sakîna”
means, having maturity and dignity. Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ states in the following hadîth-i-sherîfs: “The fire of Hell will
not burn a person who lives compatibly with Islam and who is soft in nature,” and “Being soft brings blessings. Being slack or excessive in
performing one’s duties or business causes a state of heedlessness ‘ghaflat’,” and “One who does not have softness ‘rifq’ is not a useful and
beneficial person,” and “Softness ‘rifq’
embellishes or decorates a person and eliminates his deficiencies.”
Rasűlullah ‘sall-Allâhu ’alaihi wa sal-lam’ states in another hadîth-i-sherîf: “Knowledge is acquired by studying and softness ‘hilm’ is acquired by striving and working hard to obtain it. Allâhu ta’âlâ will grant success to those who try to do useful and beneficial deeds. And He will protect those who avoid doing evil deeds.”
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[1] The prayer of istighfâr is: “Astaghfirullah al ’azim al-lazî lâ ilâha il-lâ huwa-l-hayal-qay-yűm wa atubu ilayh.”